And it begins. Again.

Today's weight 320.4.  Goal by next Tuesday is 2.5 pounds.

Not a perfect day yesterday...trying to eat the crap left in the house.  Had cheerios for breakfast and an iced coffee (larger than I should have but it's that kind of day).  Will work on being on track for the rest, though.

I have been on antibiotics since Sunday for almost ear infections and something close to but not quite strep throat.  My son is also started his third round of antibiotics for a double ear infection that won't go away.  We had fevers all weekend.  My husband, who suffers from depression, is very depressed.  He's decided that all his problems and misery is my fault.  He can't stand living with me.  I'm a negligent parent.  I forced him to have our child.  I am forcing him to divorce me and he'll once again lose out on raising his child (second marriage for him).  As a result of this depression, he can't focus on in work and I am practically the sole money earner.  He's mad that I have my son with a babysitter three times a week - I forced it, he says - but refused to compromise on splitting time during the week so I could focus on getting my work done prior to getting the babysitter.  I get up and work in the middle of the night to catch up on my stuff while he crawls into bed at 9 and sleeps till 8.

My chest is so tight and it's more than my zoloft can handle.  I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.  I'm exhausted.

My life has never been one of balance.  I've been working hard to get good help in place for my son and for my company so that the time I spend with my son is good quality time and he's not just on the floor in my office every day.  I am trying to make sure my clients are serviced the way I know they need to be.  I'm trying to manage my house - unsuccessfully, I might add - with little help from my husband or step son who lives with us.

I don't know if this is everyone's life.  Maybe it's an extreme or it's all relative.  But it's so hard when you're an emotional overeater to make the right choices when you have this kind of crap constantly in your life.  It's hard when you're so exhausted and overworked to get up and go out and exercise your ass off, literally.  But I'm going to, dammit.