Weight today: 316 [8 pounds lost]
I'm a believer in beginning as I intend to go on. I did do really well the first week of my cleanse. I lost 3 pounds in the first 3 days, which brought me to a total of 10 pounds for January. I was so excited! I was sure I was "in" it enough to continue with the next 10 pounds in February. Piece of cake!
And it's always that damn piece(s) of cake that does you in...
So, here's my week: last Saturday I had to go up to my old office because we've moved to another location and we had to get our furniture into storage. I am dragging more than I can handle and decide to stop at Dunkin's for a cup of coffee. And if I'm going to get coffee, why not get a bagel to go with it, right? Yup. We (the guys we hired, really) finished the moving and I headed off to the grocery store to get something for dinner. We had a friend coming over to visit!
I veered, once again, off of track and bought chicken. Not part of the cleanse. I made lemon chicken - the chicken is cooked in butter and it's in a lemon cream sauce. So, so delicious but not so healthy!! I also had a margarita and a cider. We did have salad with dinner, so I guess that's something....
On to Sunday. My stepson's birthday. I did well in the morning and when we went out to dinner I had a Caesar salad and tomatoes with mozzarella. Dairy (mozzarella) isn't part of the cleanse but still better than other options in an Italian restaurant. I had no intention of having cake but ended up not being able to resist and had a nice, big piece before I went to bed.
Weekend pretty much blown. By Monday I had gained back the 3 pounds I'd lost AND I'm not at my 10 pound goal for January. But a new week brings a new, fresh start, right? Yah...
I know, I know, none of this is in the "closet" yet, right? Well, I went grocery shopping on Monday. Bought lots of veggies, green drinks, whole wheat goodness and...a box of chocolate chip cookies. The followed me through the entire store! I passed by the bakery just fine but there they were in an end-cap that I passed by, like, three times trying to find funky foods I need for these cleanse recipes. I had to have them.
I got home and nobody was there. Tore into the cookies and then hid them in a cabinet. Oh, and I also had another piece of stupid birthday cake. Tuesday night, when hubby went to the grocery store, I had some more and then put them in the cabinet by my bed. I was hungry at 3 AM when I was up with the baby and finished them off. What the hell is wrong with me??
I've never admitted this out loud: I have a habit of buying foods that aren't healthy - cookies, frosting, candies - and secretly eating them. I clearly know I shouldn't have them, hence the reason for hiding the eating. My husband doesn't tell me I shouldn't have it if I just put it in the cabinet, though, it's all me. I don't want people to know I am eating it. It's a problem that I don't understand and don't know quite how to fix. I hope if I just try to continue to focus on my weight loss that I'll be able to stop as I start losing and seeing a difference.
I want to lose this weight. I don't want to continue to sabotage my weight loss goals. I want to meet my 60 pound goal for my friends wedding. I don't want to be secretly eating foods that I shouldn't have. I need to get my act together and focus on what I need to do. I know I'll feel better - and healthier - if I do. Why is it so hard to do all that stuff?
Here are 3 things I am going to do and report back on by Monday:
1. Exercise for 20 minutes for three of the four days.
2. 1 cup of coffee only and no other sweets, including alcohol, through the day.
3. Drink AT LEAST 8 glasses of water. More is better.
It's manageable, right? Let's hope!
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